Lessons Learned

Well, four months later I’m back home in some cozy 50F degree weather here in Michigan.  And to wrap up this blog I’d like to share a few of the lessons I brought back with me:

1.  Learn how to enjoy time with others

When hanging out with friends in the U.S., our “hanging out” time is usually centered around some sort of activity, be that playing video games, longboarding, snowboarding, etc…  “Hanging out” in India, on the other hand, usually meant just being with friends.  Simply sitting around and conversing with people over tea was pretty standard.  This change was a bit of a struggle for me because I tend to get antsy if I’m sitting around for a while.  But it taught me the importance of investing time and effort in getting to know others.

2.   “Patience, my young padawan”

I may have mentioned this in an earlier blog post, but it was an important lesson so I’ll share it again.  India is not (at least from my experience) a time-efficient culture.  Routine tasks in the U.S. such as checking out a book from the university library may take days in India, because the librarian needs approval from your professor, who in turn needs approval from the director of your school, but then a wrench gets thrown in things because your roll number isn’t actually registered with the university.  If something is scheduled from 2 to 4 pm, plan on showing up at 3pm and staying until 6 pm.  Yes, it was a little frustrating at first, but I found that after adjusting my mental definition for “on time” things didn’t really bother me anymore.  I just planned on doing fewer tasks each day, which in turn allowed me to live much more deliberately and say in the present moment a little more.

3.  Everything is negotiable

Coming from a place where if it’s written down in black ink, it’s law, this was a bit of a pleasant surprise.  Of course in India you have to barter for an auto-rickshaw or when you’re buying from the market, but I learned there are many more things that are negotiable.  When I stayed at a guest house a couple of times with my Indian friends, they would often barter with the front desk agent for a couple extra hours before check-out time, without having to pay anything!  Similarly, I was playing ultimate Frisbee with some Afghani friends one night when a security guard approached us to say that the place where we were playing was closed.  After a few minutes of pleading the security guard went away and we continued playing!  By the end of my time in India I found myself walking around the Delhi airport seeing which coffee shop would sell me a cup of coffee for 90 rupees.  Turns out none of them would, I guess I still have some work to do on my negotiation skills.

4.  Space is a luxury

There are countless things that we tend to take for granted in the U.S., but one of them that really stuck out for me after this trip was our concept of space, personal or otherwise.  India is 1/3 the size of the U.S. but it holds 4x our population…so our ideas of “space” tend to differ.  I visited one of my friend’s dorm rooms (they had us Americans staying in a guest house for the semester) and the first thing I noticed was how cramped the room seemed to be.  With three beds in a dorm room about half the size of mine at GVSU, floor space was hard to come by.  There were many more instances of when my concept of personal space was turned upside down, but the important thing is that we in the U.S. need to understand our luxury of space, which most of the world simply does not have.  If someone here says he or she “needs” his or her own room, backyard, apartment, realize that that person is utterly lying.

5.  You can change your surroundings, but they won’t necessarily change you

One of my expectations I had going into India was that every day would be exotic and full of exciting adventure.  Truth be told I spent many days (admittedly more than I probably should have) just sitting in my A/C room watching movies or surfing the internet.  I guess I assumed that if I put myself in a foreign country like India for 4 months I would somehow become a yoga-practicing spiritual guru.  Looking back, I realize now my mistake, but it certainly taught me an important lesson.  I suppose one of the downsides to everything being so interconnected nowadays is that no matter where you are, you can always keep yourself isolated and plugged into your comfort zone.  There certainly were adventurous days in India and I did experience many new things, but I don’t believe I put as much effort into India as I should have.

So there you have it, a few of the important lessons that I learned from my stay in Bhubaneswar.  However, the most important lesson of all is that 4 months is not nearly enough time to comprehend India, but maybe that’s the beauty of it; it’s complexity will always leave you wanting to understand a little more if it.  And so if you ever find yourself in India my advice is to engage it as much as you can and assume nothing.

P.S. Eat the street food.  All the guidebooks will tell you not to, but it’s sooooooooo good!

Much love,

Ryan

Privilege

 White privilege, Western privilege, whatever it is, it’s real and it affects everyone in some way.  Some people benefit from it while many others know the sting of the other end of it.  I definitely benefit from it, and it’s about damn time I recognize it.

As a white male who grew up in a suburban, white, middle class town, the realization of my privilege came slowly.  Whatever news I bothered listening too usually gave me the impression that other people weren’t successful because they didn’t work for it.  Everyone is born with the same opportunities in life, and the reason for inequality is just that some people capitalize on it while others don’t.  Naturally, I agreed with it.  I’d earned my college education and my various jobs because I worked hard, not because they were handed to me on a silver platter…or were they?

Would I have made it into GVSU if I had attended a sub-par school district?  Would I have been able to study for a year in Germany or a semester in India if I came from a low-income family?  Would people have hired me for my various jobs if I had a different gender or race?

Most likely, no.

My first real encounter with my privilege came during my time in Germany, when I made a very ignorant and insensitive statement in front of one of my best friends.  Being the good friend she was, she immediately scolded me and told me to never say those words in front of her again.  I was confused and mad at first.  We were all white Americans in that room, and I was only kidding after all.

That’s when my privilege shined right through.  As a white male, I could “kid” about marginalized groups in society without fear of repercussions because my privileged statues allowed me to do so.  However, when those very same groups stand up and demand fair and equal treatment, mainstream society laments them for being “divisive” and upsetting the established order.

That is privilege.  And it becomes all the more apparent over here in India.

Many of my Indian classmates ask me why exactly I’m studying at their university for a semester when American universities are obviously so much better.  Trying to explain why is quite difficult because the study abroad concept is very new here.  Spending a semester abroad to experience a new culture is a luxury that very few people in this world have.  So why would I willingly give up a semester at my university in the U.S. to study here?

I usually give the typical study abroad answer “to experience another culture, learn a new language, meet international people, etc…”  But, hidden behind these interactions is the over-arching theme of privilege.  In these cases I have the privilege of choice.  I (along with many other U.S. college students) can choose to spend a semester abroad because of my privileged status.  Most of the students here, on the other hand, just don’t have that option.

And privilege is everywhere.  It’s in India, and yes, it is in the U.S. as well.  So recognize it if you have it, and empower those who don’t.

The Golden Triangle

The Golden Triangle is probably the most visited tourist track of India.  It starts in New Delhi, and where you visit the India Gate, government buildings, the house where Gandhi spent his last days, the biggest mosque in Asia, and of course lots of temples.

From there the journey to takes you to Agra, where you visit the Agra Red Fort – one of the many Mughal forts/palaces we visited during this trip – and one of the Seven Wonders of the World – The Taj Mahal.  We woke up at 4:45 AM to visit the Taj right at sunrise, and I have to say it’s totally deserving of all the praise it gets.  It just sort of takes your breath away when you first see it.   And it only gets more impressive the closer you get with all of the detailed inlaid marble work.

And the trip goes further to Jaipur, with a stop at Fatehpur Sikri (another Mughal fort) along the way.  In Jaipur we visited more palaces and forts, of which I unfortunately can’t remember the names.  We also visited the Monkey Temple near Jaipur, and it’s exactly what you think it is.  Literally dozens of monkeys all over the place in a temple complex situated in the walls of a small canyon.  It felt like something out of a movie.  At the top of the temple was a small bath where at least 30 or so monkeys were swimming around and playing with each other.  Unfortunately they charged for bringing cameras into the temple complex, so I don’t have any pictures (although I’m sure you could Google search and find plenty of good ones!).  However, the best part of Jaipur was the old city where we stayed.  Everything in there seemed to go at a much slower pace and lacked the chaos to which I’d grown so accustomed in other Indian cities.  To top it off, the city was surrounded by a wall that offered spectacular views; all you have to do is climb!  Finding remote places away from everyone and everything is probably one of my favorite things about travelling, and the wall of Jaipur was one of those places!

And from Jaipur it was back to New Delhi and then on to Bhubaneswar for me.

Being that this is a very well-travelled tourist circuit, hawkers, cab drivers, beggars, “free guides”, and many other people interested in your money are vying for your attention and wallet every step of the way.  They wait outside hotels, or on paths leading up to monuments, or even at tollbooths on the highway.  Many of our guides would even take us to “museums”, where somebody would offer us a Coke and then show us how the marble of the Taj Mahal is made, or how gems are shaped for jewelry, or how the printed textiles are made in Jaipur.  No matter what the “museum” was showcasing, it always ended in a sales pitch and a massive guilt trip if nothing was bought from the shop. 

At first it’s kind of bewildering; you wonder if everyone is in on some sort of secret agreement to get as much money out of you as possible.  But after a couple of days of it you start to really get fed-up with it.  It got to the point where I would view practically anyone coming up to me suspiciously.  Rather than enjoy casual conversation with people I met on the street, I was always apprehensive, waiting for the moment when they would start asking for money.

However as the week progressed, I recalled an article that my boss had me read when I first started working as a study abroad peer adviser 1.5 years ago.  It’s called The Moral Ambiguity of Study Abroad (link here: http://bit.ly/1qGakhZ).  The article brings up a lot of the things I’ve been grappling with as a Westerner studying in a developing country.  I highly recommend anybody traveling abroad to read it.

One of the things the author talks about is his experience in an Egyptian market where, much like in India, a seemingly friendly shopkeeper turns sour when nobody shows any interest in buying things from him.  At the end of the article he talks about how in hindsight it might have been better to simply purchase a small trinket from the shopkeeper, at least for the sake of improving international relations.

I remember that article playing back in my mind as I sat in one of the “museums” in Agra listening to the shopkeeper’s sales pitch.  I decided then that it would be best if I just purchased one small trinket from each of these shops that we visited.

I may be on a student’s budget, but I agree with the author in that a few dollars is a small price to pay for a little less hatred in the world.

Surprise!

The most important thing to remember when visiting India is to expect the unexpected.  Plans are consistently changing, and the only way to keep up is just to let go and enjoy the ride.  You may have a tentative schedule, but in India everything is subject to change.  Take this past week for example.

Last Friday I ran into two international students outside my guest house after eating dinner.  They tell me that the next day I need to be awake and outside my guest house at 6 AM sharp so we can cook breakfast for an event that takes place at the beginning of every month.  So I show up at 6 AM, but of course nobody else does until around 7 AM (Letting go of my punctuality is proving rather difficult).  Then I find out that were cooking breakfast for the founder of KIIT and his entourage.  Surprise!

After the breakfast I’m told that the international students will put on a fashion show on Tuesday for the NAAC committee that is visiting KIIT this week.  (NAAC is an organization in India that ranks universities; KIIT is hoping to go from an A+ to an AA…or something like that).  Monday comes around and I’m told that the fashion show is actually happening that day at 4 PM and not on Tuesday.  So I show up to the auditorium at 4 PM, but nobody else does until at least 5 PM.  I then learn that were actually sitting in a meeting with the NAAC officials because they want our input on the university.  The fashion show itself doesn’t actually get started until around 7:30 PM.  Surprise!

Then yesterday I find out around 5 PM that we have to be out of our rooms in the guest house by 10 AM the following day (today) because they need our rooms at the guest house for a conference.  So we packed up all our things and moved out this morning to a different guest house, which is a littler further from the university.  Surprise!

As a result, we need a shuttle to take us to the university for our classes.  However I was just told by one of my professors that today, tomorrow, and Friday are all holidays, so most likely my classes will be cancelled, but then again they might not because of the NAAC committee visit.  Surprise!

Although these surprises tend to wreak havoc on your plans, I’ve come to appreciate them.  The fact that you don’t know where you’ll be bussed off to next forces you to really live in the moment.  Your mind stops being focused on future plans or past happenings, and you learn how to enjoy the ride that is India.  Sure it’s not always convenient, but a convenient life doesn’t challenge you.  And what’s the point of leading a life of complacency?

So who knows what will happen tomorrow.  For now I guess I’ll just keep on keepin’ on until the next surprise comes around!

Contradictions

If you read anything about India you’ll undoubtedly hear a few things regarding the contradictions that find themselves within its culture.  Immense wealth side by side with destitution.  Cows crossing a street packed full of cars.  Saris and Dhotis in the same shop as blue jeans and t-shirts.  It’s where the East meets the West.  I often find myself completely stumped by the many things that are simply taken for granted as a fact of life here.

One of the ways I’ve seen these contradictions manifest themselves is in the conversations with my Indian friends here.  For example, I’m awed by the way they talk about relationships.  They speak of things seldom brought up in American dating culture.  My friends will speak of the heartbreak of losing a lover of five years, or how they’re only staying in university because their girlfriends know what’s best for them.  When I speak with them, they skip the small talk and are keen to know what inspires me, or to which philosophy I ascribe myself.  The conversations we have require real thought and are full of human emotion.

At the same Western ideology seems to invade their values.  We talk of how incredible someone is because of the salary he or she earns.  Bragging rights are bestowed upon the people who can drink or smoke the most.  If I go shopping with them, they insist that I only buy the “name brand” clothes.

I’m often bewildered when we talk about these things in the same conversation.  The founder of my university is seen as practically a god for his endeavor to educate 25,000 of India’s most poverty stricken children completely free of charge.  In the next sentence a celebrity is praised for the amount of women he’s been with.  To me these sentences represent mutually exclusive values; nonetheless I hear them uttered almost daily by my friends.

India is a complex place, and four months seems to be nowhere near the amount required to really understand what makes it tick.

Happy Holi

It’s a week late, but I can’t sleep and need something to write about, so I’ll share my experience of Holi with y’all.

Holi is a festival celebrated throughout India to welcome the coming of spring, which here in Bhubaneswar means the transition from the extremely hot season to the  HOLY-****-I’M-MELTING season.  Among other things, it’s celebrated by everyone going outside and showering each other with colored pigments.

Although the 2-day holiday didn’t technically start until the 23^rd, I started to notice a few signs of it beginning on last Monday.  For one, all my favorite street food vendors were either replaced or had new stalls next to them selling brightly colored powders; it was time to start stocking up for the battle that was to come.

As the week progressed so did the random incidents of people being attacked with the colors.  At first there were only a few mini battles, which I safely observed from my room.  By Wednesday, however, students were bringing the colors into the classroom and decorating each other during class.  This was also my first experience with the colors when one of my classmates gave me a nice bright face full of yellow!

Finally on Thursday, the 24^th everything came to a head.  I woke up to the battle cries of Holi warriors as they loosed their handfuls of color on each other.  After a quick breakfast and change into some Holi clothes I felt ready to enter the warzone.  And so, my fellow Americans and I embarked with our Afghan comrades outside the guest house and into the fray.

The first thing you should know about Holi is that everyone is fair game for getting showered in the colored powder.  Old or young, rich or poor, working or not, if you are outside during Holi, you will end up looking like a neon rainbow by the end of the day.

So from the moment I stepped outside the guest house I was greeted with a face full of purple powder.  We went on for about an hour or so smothering each other in the bright pigments… and they got everywhere.  It was in my hair, ears, nose, mouth, eyes…  It was awesome in every sense of the word!  The preferred tactic seemed to be slapping a handful of pigment right across someone’s cheek.  Later on we added water to the mix, which ended up blending all the colors together into a nice deep purple that got engrained in my skin for a few days.

As the battle started winding down many of the Indian students were coming back on to campus yelling without their shirts on.  I was sort of confused as to why none of them were wearing shirts, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time.  Suddenly I was surrounded by a mob of yelling students who immediately grabbed my t-shirt and ripped it off my body, letting out a boisterous victory cheer!  I sort of just stood there for a moment thinking, what the hell was that?  Then I said to my self Happy Holi, and immediately went after the next closest person to me and ripped off his shirt too!

Probably the most beautiful thing about Holi (besides the colors, of course) is how it brings everyone together.  During the festival I knew I could walk up to any random person around me and give him a handful of color straight to the dome, and he’d smile back as he did the same to me.  “Happy Holi!” were the words of the day, and nothing else mattered besides that.  Whatever social barriers existed that day were brought down – at least temporarily – in a hailstorm of neon pigments and cheers.